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Tuesday, November 24th, 2009
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9:33 am - danger.
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every time you say you're going to call I assume you won't. I tell myself that the last time we talked was the last time and that this is the moment when you disappear. You've called and texted since every time I've declared you gone, but this is just to prepare myself for the moment I know is inevitably coming. I'm getting myself ready to say goodbye every time we say hello and that might not be healthy but it's safe. your greatest performances will always be vanishing acts and I've got to stop being so surprised when you pull that trick out of your hat.
Despite all my preparations I know when the time comes and you're gone all over again I'm gonna hurt and hate it just as much as I did before. and this time... I don't have him to lean on and put me back together.
(this isn't "writing" this is just a whole bunch of stuff no one wants to hear me talk about)
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remember
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